Have you realized that many people seem to have a “stake” in your life when it is absolutely not there business not to poke into your issues? A simple observer may not be comfortable with my stance on this subject because subtly, it is almost like saying you should discount people getting interested in your affairs and offering their counsel. This is far from it. What I advocate and campaign for here is not in any way a devaluation of the place of counsel, sound advice and guidance. I am myself a life-coach and a mentor of many. The issue at stake is the aggressive micro-management style of a lot of people who after giving you their advice, counsel and suggestions want you to follow their style hook, line and sinker without taking into consideration your personal responsibility of decision making and your peculiarity as a person. People can make suggestions but it is your reserved right and responsibility to make up your mind on what to do eventually. That is the personal freedom I fight for people. Away with the dogmatic, stereotyped way of trying to force people to do things your way all the time.
I find that people who rarely know where you are coming from and where you are headed tend to call you all kinds of names because you are not towing their path and lane in life. I have always said that people who are busy minding their business and pursuing a bright future have no time to poke into the intricate issues of others. They may have time to observe one or two things about how the people around them are living and they may offer a few tips on how you can tweak one or two things to make what you are doing better but they do not bother you with the methodologies and minutest details.
I have had very serious personal experiences in my life and still having them. You have these sets of people who think you shouldn’t be doing what you are doing because no one else has done them around them before. If I have to do everything that has been done before, why should I expect a different result? Change is the best sign of progress in life. Do not get stuck in doing the same thing over and over again. I learnt a long time ago not to be around people who regard me as their champion from whom I may not have something new to learn from. Penultimate Thursday, I was a guest of the dynamic youths of Living Faith Church in my city and I told them to get away from associations and environments where they have stopped learning new things. If you are the one people defer to always and you have all the answers in your circle of friends, then that circle has expired for you. You have become a local champion. I like being with people who make me look foolish; people who make me want to learn more. Don’t be a big fish in a small pond. I’d rather be a small fish in an ocean, so I can have enough room for growth and expansion.
I was speaking to an elder man who considered himself my mentor and guardian some few years ago and he said I shouldn’t be thinking of any amount of money above N500,000 Nigerian Nigeria at my stage. I was an officer in a thriving Nigerian bank with a take home pay of a little less than N100,000 monthly and I was engaged in my freelance writing and just published my first book. I was exploring other areas of investment and business expansion while working and here was this man telling I was being too ambitious. I was 33+ at the time! I was expected to think within the box of my monthly salary and that was it. I rejected that counsel because it was running contrary to my avowed vision and understanding of life and progress. He wanted me to be boxed in to his limited thinking for me. The devil is a liar… I didn’t submit to that counsel and you should not. Anyone who tries to run down your vision is not a friend and cannot be one. Run away from such people.
When I bought my first car in 1999, I was 27. A good natured uncle of mine called me and asked me to sell the car and go buy a motorcycle! Why was he proposing that? He was in his mid 40s and had worked for more than 20 years but had an aging motorcycle. He said I was being too ambitious and that it was not right for me to be using a car! I saw a car as a mere necessity and not a luxury. He was indignant. He wanted me to operate within his worldview of life but I refused to stay down. People who want you to do their bidding because they have not thought of higher things are dangerous in your life – be wary of their small talk.
People who will get to the top should always do things different irrespective of what others thing about them. Leaders operate outside the box, go against the current and stand out of the crowd. See you another day.
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