I am totally overwhelmed with the amount of interest that has been generated by the series on helping singles to locate who their spouses should be. We have looked at a wide range of issues even though they are not exhaustive but they form the nucleus of what should be the vital signs that we must all look out for if we desire to have a measurable amount of success in our matrimonial adventure. You cannot have your game all-packed but you can operate on what I can a safe-edge so that you may have the right platform to fulfill the reason why you are on earth.
It must be stated like I mentioned in the first blog in the series that marriage is not the reason you are alive. Marriage was created as an institution for support to enable you fulfill your purpose. It is the person without purpose who will take one aspect of life like marriage and build a life around it. When anything goes wrong (because it will certainly go wrong with that kind of attitude), such people rarely have any reservoir of strength for a come-back in life. Marriage is one of the legs you need to have a balanced life. Imagine a table with four legs, marriage is one of such legs. If you live your life on the basis of getting only one leg standing, the table will not exist.
Your Spouse Cannot be Everything to you
I am concerned when I hear newly weds say things like "I can't live without you", "you are my everything", "I will be dead without you in my life". These are outlandish phrases that are borne out of mere fantasy. When reality hits you, such statements run completely dry. Marriage provides one of the best platform for a wonderful life but you cannot totally count on it as a bridge to your success in life. You need to be strong on the inside of you emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Be prepared to confront challenges and overcome them. Be a complete human being and let your marriage partner be a complementary individual with whom you can achieve success. You should rather aim to be a helper to the destiny of your spouse rather than expecting your spouse to fill in your gap!
Your spouse is going to be at best a human being. There is a divine being who is everything to all of us at the same time and at all times. Hing your hope on Him. I find it crucial to bring this reality to your attention because even when you have considered all the factors and done all your due diligence, you may still have to stand up and be able to withstand unforeseen circumstances.
My dear, whether you like it or not, thing do happen. If happens to good people and to bad people. What will you do when you walk into your house at 10.45 pm from a trip and find your spouse in the arms of a lover in your matrimonial home? Are you going to kill yourself? Not at all! You are going to look the situation in the eye and say, "I am bigger than you!" The marriage may crash because not everyone can take that especially if the offending spouse is not remorseful enough. That will not be the end of your life. You should be able to pick up the pieces of your life after that and go ahead. I have seen people end everything about their lives because their marriages or even relationship that has not yet resulted in marriage crash. Its the marriage that crashed not you!
I heard someone say not too long ago that "if you fail in your marriage, your life is finished". Hmmm.... that is the worst and "wrongest" statement I ever heard. That was way too wrong! Where did he get that from? But do you blame him? That is what he knows or was taught and he never wanted to check out that truth.
This blog is being read by singles, married, separated, divorced or widows/widowers. You might have lost a very value adding relationship, or you are married and it was better you were separated or divorced, or someone you value and had invested so much emotional capital in has walked away. No matter the condition you find yourself in: I have good news for you - you can start over again and get all that has been lost back! Trust me, you can!
It all comes down to what you think about yourself. You are what you think. As a man thinketh... so is he! I am sure I must have struck a familiar cord with you, kindly let me hear from you in the comment box before if I have done you any good. However, if you have reservations about what I have written thus far, let me know as well. Thank you and God bless you.
It must be stated like I mentioned in the first blog in the series that marriage is not the reason you are alive. Marriage was created as an institution for support to enable you fulfill your purpose. It is the person without purpose who will take one aspect of life like marriage and build a life around it. When anything goes wrong (because it will certainly go wrong with that kind of attitude), such people rarely have any reservoir of strength for a come-back in life. Marriage is one of the legs you need to have a balanced life. Imagine a table with four legs, marriage is one of such legs. If you live your life on the basis of getting only one leg standing, the table will not exist.
Your Spouse Cannot be Everything to you
I am concerned when I hear newly weds say things like "I can't live without you", "you are my everything", "I will be dead without you in my life". These are outlandish phrases that are borne out of mere fantasy. When reality hits you, such statements run completely dry. Marriage provides one of the best platform for a wonderful life but you cannot totally count on it as a bridge to your success in life. You need to be strong on the inside of you emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Be prepared to confront challenges and overcome them. Be a complete human being and let your marriage partner be a complementary individual with whom you can achieve success. You should rather aim to be a helper to the destiny of your spouse rather than expecting your spouse to fill in your gap!
Your spouse is going to be at best a human being. There is a divine being who is everything to all of us at the same time and at all times. Hing your hope on Him. I find it crucial to bring this reality to your attention because even when you have considered all the factors and done all your due diligence, you may still have to stand up and be able to withstand unforeseen circumstances.
My dear, whether you like it or not, thing do happen. If happens to good people and to bad people. What will you do when you walk into your house at 10.45 pm from a trip and find your spouse in the arms of a lover in your matrimonial home? Are you going to kill yourself? Not at all! You are going to look the situation in the eye and say, "I am bigger than you!" The marriage may crash because not everyone can take that especially if the offending spouse is not remorseful enough. That will not be the end of your life. You should be able to pick up the pieces of your life after that and go ahead. I have seen people end everything about their lives because their marriages or even relationship that has not yet resulted in marriage crash. Its the marriage that crashed not you!
I heard someone say not too long ago that "if you fail in your marriage, your life is finished". Hmmm.... that is the worst and "wrongest" statement I ever heard. That was way too wrong! Where did he get that from? But do you blame him? That is what he knows or was taught and he never wanted to check out that truth.
This blog is being read by singles, married, separated, divorced or widows/widowers. You might have lost a very value adding relationship, or you are married and it was better you were separated or divorced, or someone you value and had invested so much emotional capital in has walked away. No matter the condition you find yourself in: I have good news for you - you can start over again and get all that has been lost back! Trust me, you can!
It all comes down to what you think about yourself. You are what you think. As a man thinketh... so is he! I am sure I must have struck a familiar cord with you, kindly let me hear from you in the comment box before if I have done you any good. However, if you have reservations about what I have written thus far, let me know as well. Thank you and God bless you.
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