My last blog titled "I am of age, I want to marry" gave me a clue to the near crisis situation young ladies and guys face today as to the issue of marriage and relationship. The amount of interest it generated amongst my readers is a huge encouragement for me to continue on in this series. Today, I want to major on the subject of how you may know the right person for you. I must however warn that there is no method that is cast in stone, however, I try here to discuss clear and general principles that are based on sound footing which if followed will definitely lead you on the right track.
The threshold of interest/friendship
What really makes you want to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? You definitely are not friendly with every guy or lady if you are of the opposite gender. There must be something that you must have found interesting to you that you want to identify with. This must not be mixed up with the general interest guys have for ladies for the sole motive of taking them to bed; neither is it the crush a lady has on a guy just because he simply looks good and she wants him for one night stand. This likeness and interest I discuss here is simply pure and has no desire for lust as its basic motivation.
If you like someone, it means there is something inside of you that know that the other person has some value to offer your life. This threshold of interest which leads to friendship must be entered into with caution so that you are not in a way making hasty commitments before you are supposed to.
There are different occasions at which you might meet your new acquaintance. It could be in school or at work or just in a bus and the normal and casual "hi hi" kind of relationship is established. You are most likely drawn towards each other because of a certain kind of chemistry you share which might be difficult to explain. This chemistry which draws you to each other should naturally lead you to begin to check each other out with respect to your future as individuals.
Questions on your mind like "does this person respect me? does she believe in me? do we share the same values for life? does he share my passion? do I have a tendency to gravitate towards him just because it is him who said it? does she answer my questions of whether women can be trusted (or vice versa)? does she love me for the sake of who I am or what I have? do I love her for the sake of herself irrespective of her faults?" If you answer YES to at least 80% of these questions as you relate with this person for upwards of six months, then you are supposed to take this relationship a bit seriously. If your answer is NO in at least 50% of the entire catalogue, you should begin to make a steady retreat. These are initial tests that most of us never did or do not consider necessary. We just go on a swing of feeling, having been swept off our feet with sweet words which men and women have learnt how to say over time especially when they have ulterior motives at the back of their minds.
The question of purpose
As a young man or woman, if you do not yet have a handle on why you are here on earth, a relationship towards the end of marriage should be the last thing on your mind. If you get serious and make commitments in a relationship before you find out your purpose and what you should be doing, you might suddenly discover that you are hooked to the wrong person who does not value or respect what you are cut out for and frustration and eventual crash of that relationship becomes apparent. In some other cases, in a bid to hold on to the relationship especially when they are married and at the same time on to purpose; they may end up not fulfilling their destiny and at the same time have a very frustrating marriage. That is akin to the story of a people who looked down on the profession of plumbing and exalted philosophy of any kind. They ended up having very dry taps and came to naught when sound theories were required of them.
It is therefore critical for you to have a handle on purpose... the reason why you are here on earth before you think of entering a serious relationship that may end up in marriage. If you at a loss as to how to find out your purpose, it will be necessary for you to get in touch with me and I can send you an advance e-copy of my book "WHAT CAN YOU SEE?" for a price you can't find anywhere if you so desire. Send me an email to this effect and I will communicate with you the details of how you may pay and obtain the e-copy of the book. My email address is godwinogwuche@yahoo.com. The next set of discussions on this subject may become more profitable for you if you understand your purpose for life.
I will come to you with Part 2 of this particular subject with fuller details on how to know your partner in marriage. Stay connected and don't touch this dial for a second! Thank you for paying attention. Keep your comments coming.
The threshold of interest/friendship
What really makes you want to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? You definitely are not friendly with every guy or lady if you are of the opposite gender. There must be something that you must have found interesting to you that you want to identify with. This must not be mixed up with the general interest guys have for ladies for the sole motive of taking them to bed; neither is it the crush a lady has on a guy just because he simply looks good and she wants him for one night stand. This likeness and interest I discuss here is simply pure and has no desire for lust as its basic motivation.
If you like someone, it means there is something inside of you that know that the other person has some value to offer your life. This threshold of interest which leads to friendship must be entered into with caution so that you are not in a way making hasty commitments before you are supposed to.
There are different occasions at which you might meet your new acquaintance. It could be in school or at work or just in a bus and the normal and casual "hi hi" kind of relationship is established. You are most likely drawn towards each other because of a certain kind of chemistry you share which might be difficult to explain. This chemistry which draws you to each other should naturally lead you to begin to check each other out with respect to your future as individuals.
Questions on your mind like "does this person respect me? does she believe in me? do we share the same values for life? does he share my passion? do I have a tendency to gravitate towards him just because it is him who said it? does she answer my questions of whether women can be trusted (or vice versa)? does she love me for the sake of who I am or what I have? do I love her for the sake of herself irrespective of her faults?" If you answer YES to at least 80% of these questions as you relate with this person for upwards of six months, then you are supposed to take this relationship a bit seriously. If your answer is NO in at least 50% of the entire catalogue, you should begin to make a steady retreat. These are initial tests that most of us never did or do not consider necessary. We just go on a swing of feeling, having been swept off our feet with sweet words which men and women have learnt how to say over time especially when they have ulterior motives at the back of their minds.
The question of purpose
As a young man or woman, if you do not yet have a handle on why you are here on earth, a relationship towards the end of marriage should be the last thing on your mind. If you get serious and make commitments in a relationship before you find out your purpose and what you should be doing, you might suddenly discover that you are hooked to the wrong person who does not value or respect what you are cut out for and frustration and eventual crash of that relationship becomes apparent. In some other cases, in a bid to hold on to the relationship especially when they are married and at the same time on to purpose; they may end up not fulfilling their destiny and at the same time have a very frustrating marriage. That is akin to the story of a people who looked down on the profession of plumbing and exalted philosophy of any kind. They ended up having very dry taps and came to naught when sound theories were required of them.
It is therefore critical for you to have a handle on purpose... the reason why you are here on earth before you think of entering a serious relationship that may end up in marriage. If you at a loss as to how to find out your purpose, it will be necessary for you to get in touch with me and I can send you an advance e-copy of my book "WHAT CAN YOU SEE?" for a price you can't find anywhere if you so desire. Send me an email to this effect and I will communicate with you the details of how you may pay and obtain the e-copy of the book. My email address is godwinogwuche@yahoo.com. The next set of discussions on this subject may become more profitable for you if you understand your purpose for life.
I will come to you with Part 2 of this particular subject with fuller details on how to know your partner in marriage. Stay connected and don't touch this dial for a second! Thank you for paying attention. Keep your comments coming.
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